Google+ Followers

October 12, 2014

The 20s Tag- RANDOM FACTS ABOUT SISTER SYKIK



I got tagged by Toinlicious and I have to confess it took me days to come up with this....hehehe....I have been on holiday and just got back. I went to chop the life of my head….. I am trying to activate my Naija survival mode.  

20 things about me

1.       I can be extremely quiet at times. There are people who haven’t seen the “alariwo”/”onijogbon” Sykik and won’t believe I can be loud and stubborn
2.       I love holidays. I won’t mind been on vacation all year round
3.       I love hotels and won’t mind living in one every day. It would be my absolute pleasure to have someone make my bed and clean the bathrooms every day. I mean 5 star hotels oh...not “Iya Sikira” guesthouse
4.       I don’t love sharing my personal effects. This must be because I grew up as the only female child
5.       I love reality shows. I would rather watch people sit and talk than watch fiction. I guess that’s why I love stage plays
6.       I am a Big Brother Africa addict
7.       I would rather read than watch a movie. Too much shooting and blood puts me off, also why watch someone’s fantasy when reality shows give me the real deal
8.       I don’t like the sight of blood
9.    I have a phobia for needles. I can’t take an injection without help; I have to be tightly held to be given an injection. I can’t imagine what I would do if I have to take a sick person to the hospital
10.   I have always had this bizarre feeling to drive over a kerb or run into a roundabout whenever I am driving......evil spirit things abi…....I bind every spirit of accident hovering around me
11.   I don’t do make-up, wish I could sha. I won’t mind learning, ask me what’s stopping me from learning
12.   I love shopping. It’s therapeutic, my Hubby says I can shop on my way to heaven
13.   I hate being broke. I get cranky and start hyper ventilating. You would think rapture took place and I was left behind
14.   I can worry for the world....it’s scary.  however, I have a calm disposition so most people can’t tell
15.   I love chocolates. Anything that has chocolate in it has my name tucked into it somewhere
16.   I can’t sing to save my life but I love good music. I have a ear for good music, I love to hear good lyrics from sonorous voices
17.   I have always dreamt of being a kept woman....very weird fantasy abi....I need to submit myself for MFM deliverance
18.   I am scared of the dark but can’t sleep with the lights on. Back in the days, Mama Sykik maintained a light off policy from 8pm
19.   I am scared of heights. I can’t look down from any height. Maybe because I am feather weight, I feel the wind might blow my lepa body all the way to the ground floor
20.   I am a sucker for love. I love sheepishly and hopelessly. My love is blind, deaf and dumb, possibly crippled sef...and I hurt same way
21.   I LOVE MY HUBBY BEYOND WHAT WORDS CAN DESCRIBE. I never imagined I could love anyone aside my family like this but I found love and so far so good, it’s being blissful

Feel free to tag yourselves. Thanks for reading.

I will be on and off like NEPA abi na PHCN for a while, please bear with me. My world is undergoing some major transformation and it’s taking all my will power to do blog rounds much more write a post. Don’t worry, I will still be visiting your blogs and leave comments if I can but may not be able to update my blog as often as I wish.

Love you lots.
mwah

September 12, 2014

MAMA SYKIK .....



I remember the day mama Sykik found a love letter in my closet.

Back in the days, love letters where the “ish”, it was the means through which boys wooed babes. I  have mentioned in some earlier posts that I was a late bloomer so I didn’t get boys paying attention to me till my undergrad years........there was the random boy, here and there but Mama Sykik played her “breathing down my back” role so well and co-opted my brothers into saving their sister’s purity till marriage.

There was this boy who had taken a big brother/boyfriend role over me in school, come to think of it he never toasted me sha. The boy had to change schools in our second year and so we were separated and there were no GSM phones then. It was a tough time for me, I felt lost and so when I got a letter from this bobo (he sent it through a student who had visited his school). I read the letter every day and mumuishly took the letter with me home during the holidays....somehow Mama Sykik poke nosed through my stuff and read the letter, this was a letter I kept well folded inside my bible (I had to keep the letter holy abi nau). Mama Sykik doesn’t understand that there is anything called boundaries or personal space. After this incident, I learnt the trick of Eneke the bird that “since men have learned to shoot without missing, he has learned to fly without perching." I learnt to keep my privacy from her prying eyes.

I got home from my Mum’s store that day and met Mama Sykik at the door, brandishing my love letter (she doesn’t waste time attacking) immediately I saw the letter, I died and travelled to heaven..........it was easier facing God than Mama Sykik, I swear. She was gangster like that.....all I heard again was

Mama Sykik: Sykik am I not talking to you
Sykik: Ma, what did you say (My heart was skipping and I still couldn’t make sense of what she was saying)
Mama Sykik: are you listening to me at all, since you are deaf, let me explain myself better

Mama Sykik delivered one of those her “abara” slap, “abara”- is a back slap that brings you out of a coma. It works; ask any Nigerian Yoruba girl who grew up in the 80s and 90s. That “abara” brought me back from my coma and I can’t remember what my explanation was, but I must have confessed to sins committed and uncommitted. I was made to promise to break up with this bobo and cease all form of communication. After the beating and threats of that day, I am sure I never spoke to any man except my brothers for weeks.

How do you break up with someone who never toasted you sef? I told bobo about the incident and we just remained discreet until Mama Sykik caught us again and this time around she drafted Papa Sykik to cast the “spell of boyfriend” from my life.

I love Mama Sykik and  wouldn’t trade her for anything, though back in the days I had no “relationship” with her because I felt her parenting methods were cruel but I won’t be half of  who I am today without that strict grooming. Papa Sykik blended her parenting skills with his modern methods which she felt was “ajebutterish” but see me today, I turned out right even if I have to say so myself.

Will I trade my growing up years  for anything......NO......will I train my child(ren) same way......not really......but I am certainly going to do some “abara” giving or how else will they know I am a Yoruba mummy...lol....and God loves a cheerful giver :) 

September 08, 2014

MRS SOMEBODY



Young and without any care in the world, fresh out of school with a good paying job, cap that with a beautiful face and figure what more can a girl ask for? Hmmmmm.....she felt on top of the world.
Wow, she’s still a virgin at 36years and no boyfriend. She’s feeling old and grey; where did the years go......wait a second...where are the guys?

There’s a front desk officer in my office, her name is Sisi, and she got married less than a year ago. Her fairy tale wedding was the talk of the office and the so many “ohs” “ahs” no let person hear word for a while. It was rumoured she had landed a “big boy”, a-la- Abuja contractor.  In Nigerian parlance, a contractor is someone who doesn’t have a regular pay job and lobbies for government contracts. Depending on his connections, he might be getting the contracts in droves or trickles; he might also be a front for the “bigger boys”

Fast forward to some months after the “city people” wedding, the crack in the marriage is so wide that it has turned to office gossip. It is been peddled that Sisi paid for the wedding expenses, paid the house rent and also general upkeep of the house, the man rides her car (this car was bought by a sugar daddy according to the story tellers).   According to the association of office mongers (Sykik is not a member oh, though I somehow find myself in the gathering by default....hehehe.....I need to keep abreast of events around me and don’t worry, I cover my ears with the blood of Jesus before and after the tales) ,  the man hasn’t landed a contract in the God knows how long,  so his finances have dwindled and Sisi is tired of the charade and has asked him to pack out of her house, after all she paid the rent and he’s using her money to “carry babes” and flenjour all over town to keep up with his big boy status.... apparently the man has been chopping life at her expense.

The matter reached its peak when the man had to send emissaries to come and plead with Sisi in the office. Sisi no gree oh, she just downloaded all her expenses since she got married and asked them to give it to the man and also get him to repay her for feeding, his  monthly upkeep and accommodation for the last few months ( I was told the expenses included the car maintenance and fuel).......

Now, back to Miss-tall-and-graceful, yes, you are 36years old and still single, last time I checked marriage doesn’t give an automatic gate pass to heaven. The bible doesn’t list being single as a sin......... yeah, it definitely feels lonely and cold (at times), but the good news is, it doesn’t feel that way all the time. Enjoy the free time now while you can, you think you have spent too much free time already, let me tell you something, a lifetime of being married is truly a lifetime...it’s more than being called MRS, drop the desperation because the loneliness you are experiencing now is not because you are unmarried, it’s because you decided to host a pity-party everyday 247..yea....I would rather you make the right choice than make a desperate choice.

I am not qualified to give advice because I got married early so I probably don’t know how you feel but trust me, I know how it feels to want something so badly that every cell in your body aches and quakes, I know what it feels like to want to yell at God and say “Are you sure, you are God, do you thrive in my pain”.......however, I also know that there are days when you read stories like Sisi’s story and  you say “Dear God, did I call you names last week, I am so sorry, it was  that time of the month”...lol....yes oh, God knows about PMS, he knows about mood swings and he sure has a sense of humour too.

Don’t know if this post makes sense but, this is just another finger-is-itching-me-to-type ish!!!

August 29, 2014

HOWDY



I have to apologise for staying away, there’s been so much happening. I will fill you in soon. How una dey? What’s popping?  The fear of ebola is the beginning of wisdom shey?........short of using sanitizer to clean food before we eat now.

I hope God doesn’t keep a church attendance register because I have marked absent more than present so far this year in church.  My church attendance needs a revamp......maybe I need to change parish or look for another church...any ideas? I presently attend Redeemed Christian Church of God.

The year 2014 is winding down small small, I need to go look at my 2014 to-do-list....there’s still so much to achieve....above all, my career change is dragging so long. I need liver to drop my resignation so I can move on.......God help me

I am contemplating texturising my natural hair , I have some hair styles I want to try out and I don’t want to wear a wig or install a weave......I am so confused on this ...some days I am a proud #teamnatural and some days , this natural hair can be a pain in the a*s....

Abeg, let me ask oh, which do you prefer a male help or female help. I had to stay home for some days recuperating and I noticed that my neighbour’s female help had male company daily.... Infact, I won’t be surprised if she’s doing “short time” during the day sef......As a good neighbour, am I supposed to tell her or keep quiet. But the girl greets me very well oh...

I remember the first time I heard my 20 year old brother was sexually active..kai, it was as though someone poured me ice water...sexually kini, Mama Sykik was convinced he was raped, seduced or anything but accepting the truth. Mama Sykik was in denial, she couldn’t fathom that her baby was doing the ‘do’, if you see as she warn the girl abi na woman sef (the lady is older than my brother and looks streetwise). I told her to open her eyes and better talk sex education with the boy if she and Papa Sykik never did ..better late than never.........because before they know it they will be grandparents or treating one disease or the other. I told her she better go learn how they talk sex education these days and not the “don’t let any man touch you story” she gave me back in the days.....children of these days don open eye.

Let me end with this song
He loves me I cannot say why
He loves me I cannot say why
On Calvary tree, He suffered for me
He loves me I cannot say why

-Author unknown.

I don’t think a post can be more random as this.