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November 04, 2014

DRY GIST



Back to my last week post, let me gist you what I heard jare, I can’t keep it to myself because it won’t be nice to be hoarding gist.......it’s not a good something to be a gist miser. I was jejely minding my business in the rest room, trying to do number 2 when I heard ladies as usual discussing about how one very big “oga at the top” in the office is the one oiling one devoted Muslim sister’s engine. This sister is like an Alhaja oh, she covers head, covers body, and her clothes ehn....the skirt touches ground, the blouses covers her fingers. She doesn’t allow anything to show at all, at all......in fact the guys complain that she has ensured that no one, whether man or woman can lust after her. She is often used as example of how a religious person should be, she doesn’t miss her prayers, always with her praying rosary and very polite. I am sure some Christian sisters are envying her comportment sef.

As I hear her name for rest room, I thought I was hallucinating; it must be a lie, Alhaja gist for restroom ke, that must be bad belle people at work........... I quickly comported myself to finish hearing the story on your behalf *grinning*

Female 1: Do you know who I saw yesterday at ******* hotel

Female 2: who?

Female 1: Alhaja and she was with our “Oga at the top”

Female 2: she was with, abi she went for a meeting with....?

Female 1: which went for a meeting....the way I take see them, it wasn’t a meeting oh

Female1: this confirms the suspicion I had 2 weeks ago that Oga is the one greasing Alhaja......to imagine that this babe has been forming holy, holy pass Jesus Christ. Did you notice how she responded to Oga’s question on her monthly performance during MPR meeting? She told him he was embarrassing her, hissed and then walked out of the meeting while muttering under her breath that she was sure he doesn’t want his wife knowing what and where he goes after office hours. The meeting hall went quiet as though everyone was in a trance, Oga just continued with the meeting as though nothing happened and I almost doubted what I heard. I decided to put my detective cap to use and.......... voila, na so I jam dem for that hotel oh

Female 2: abeg, I am always weary of any babe that carries Jesus or Allah on top head like gala seller oh, na them do coded runs pass...wait oh, hope them no see you? Abi you wan take your appraisial do kite?

My peeps, na this point, my phone ring oh....gosh, I didn’t realise I had been holding my breath and poo all this while just to finish hearing hot gist ....I wish I heard the concluding part of the story sha

Will you believe I heard two ladies conversing in French excitedly while in the rest room, I would give up my lunch to understand what they were gossiping about......by the way, when did my company start recruiting French speaking nationals.... I know they were gossiping abi what else will 2 females be doing in the rest room aside number 1 and 2. All weapons fashioned against me not to hear toilet gist ehn, I bind and cast into the fiery furnace. 



It be like say this gist is dry sef....as the story no complete

 

October 31, 2014

October 2014 haff finish



I don’t think I have ever heard or walked into a group of women discussing politics, the political terrain, political parties, the price of crude oil, crude oil theft in the Niger Delta, the power of incumbency, world politics e.t.c....... all I have heard are women

·         in my office restroom discussing diapers, baby developments, brazilian/peruvian hair, make-up, shoes, clothes, bags, vacation among other “womanly” gist
·         in my home church discussing how to be a better wife, the power of a praying woman, training Godly children, housekeeping issues et.c.

Is this a case of “wetin concern agbero with overload” or a case of Sister Sykik is vain, I need to start carrying these legs to where intellectual discourse is taking place and stop wakaing  to where aproko gist is taking place. 

I am not a lost case sha, I engage in intellectual discourse when I find myself among men, in fact, the men on my floor in the office discuss football so much I had to start following premiership league because I started feeling “one kain” when they mention Ronaldo, Messi, Benzema, Drogba and others.....I had to up my knowledge of European football and quickly registered myself under Chelsea fan club( this is Hubby’s club and it’s better to support where my bread is being buttered).

The guys also discuss Nigerian politics, and it’s a battle of which party is better – APC or PDP, when they start arguing like this, I step back listen and then also put my mouth to fuel the discussion...now I know all about caucus meetings, why Amaechi is angry, that it is an open secret that President Jonathan is coming back, that APC means Asiwaju Personal Company ati be-be-lo.....thanks to them I am politically vast and won’t look lost when anyone mentions any political jargon, I have idea and last time I checked "idea is need" .........I dey kampe, you can try and ask me when elections are taking place in Nigeria , in case you don’t know it’s year 2015 oh and I know that there will be elections on Valentine’s day sef........hehehe......don’t try me oh, Sister Sykik, wetin bring Valentine’s day into this election matter discussion....*bbm rolling eyes*

What is the essence of this post sef, even me doesn’t know oh.....wetin “konsine” una with my knowledge of politics, I don’t know, why am I subjecting you to reading this post, I don’t know, maybe I am trying to re affirm to myself that I am not so vain after all............I just stumbled into another toilet gist in the women’s rest room...... do you want to hear what I heard........ say “Yay” in the comment section, just maybe the "yays" will have it...........however, truth be told, it’s easier to do aproko than task the brain about what is GDP and how it affects the price of garri in mile 12 market.

Have a blissful weekend sweethearts......I love you more than agege bread and ewa aganyin

October 20, 2014

THE SISTERHOOD OF WORLD BLOGGER AWARD



I got tagged for the “Sisterhood of the world blogger award” and I am thrilled that anyone could count me worthy to be called a sister. I never had a sister growing up; I was the only girl so I grew up playing football, fighting wrestling, climbing trees and wearing trousers like men.  I learnt to be strong willed and strong headed from playing with my brothers and I never knew the difference between boys and girls until the day a boy pressed the two knobs on my chest, it hurt as hell and I wasn’t told before I stayed off playing with boys.

I have been tagged by 2 adorable e- sisters. 





Rhapsody’s questions


Do you love yourself from the inside out to the outside in?
Yes, I love myself; I am in love with my crazy self.

What things do you do for yourself that enriches, nourishes and affirms your being?
I believe no one can do me the way I do me, does that make sense. Let me break it down. I am unique; I amaze myself when I take up challenges or when all my inhibitions are broken. I have seen myself evolve in different shades

How do you hold yourself accountable for your poor decisions?
I give myself a good verbal spanking. I have learnt to take deep breaths before I start a pity-party. It will be foolhardy to make poor decisions and not learn a thing or two

Are you able to forgive yourself your humanness and move forward without beating up yourself and getting stuck in the, what should have been, if only I had?
I have learnt that I can’t change yesterday but I have control over my today and my tomorrow is an opportunity to make perfect today’s mistakes

How do you celebrate you, your uniqueness and authenticity?
I can be spontaneous and the situation determines the celebration. I sure do know how to blow my own trumpet

How do you stay motivated, hopeful and faithful to you, your thoughts, beliefs and ideals?
I have a favourite quote “Today is the yesterday I was anxious about, yet all is well”

 If you were your own parent what would be the one thing you would teach yourself?
I think the one thing I learnt late is to “do me” that I can’t be anyone else. I always wanted to be a model, it was a dream I nourished while I was a teenager, however, the fear of my religious parents and the is “modelling an ambition” talk made me shelve a dream I still nourish till date

a.      How have those lesson(s) changed you?
You will never know if there’s light at the end of the tunnel, if you don’t take the step. I would rather try and fail than never try at all
b.      It is said that what we learn we have a responsibility to teach, how do you plan to pass on the lessons to others who may be stuck where you were?  
Practice what you preach, that’s the cliché. I would rather anyone learn from my actions than what I say, it won’t be “sexy” to say “do as I say and not do as I do”

Are you being true to your inner self or are you busy pleasing everybody else?
This is a 50-50 question and the situation I find myself determines which shade I put on.  I have had to please my family rather than being true to myself in some situations

If you are not being true to self, how’s that working for you?
So far so good, I however, will need to be true to myself more often henceforth because I have realised that you can’t please everyone.


I am not ashamed to say that I look forward to New Dawn’s mail in my inbox and always delighted to read from her...yes oh, I am “famzing”...... and I have been mightily blessed by her sisterly role. She’s a sister indeed, and I know she’s got my back.

I am glad she tagged me and it means so much, it’s an honour to be tagged...ehm, lemme answer her question before I start yarning gibberish

New dawn’s question

If you have an opportunity to change something about your physical features and character, which would it be?
It is not a hidden secret that I won’t mind miraculously finding that my bum-bum has added some fat, what I have now doesn’t qualify to be called bum-bum, it’s as flat as a frying pan....hehehe........it is an apology for a bum-bum. My friend’s daughter who is 8 years sef get bum-bum pass me.....see my life.......but wait oh......I don’t want the Kim K type of bum-bum, biko, that’s too massive for my lepa body. It will just disfigure this figure 8 that I am nursing *rolls eye* , okay, you didn’t know that I am a Agbani Darego wanna be.....issokay, one day is one day, I will unveil this super model figure on this blog, make I hit the gym finish and make sure the curves are popping...*coughing*

Patience isn’t a virtue I have, Hubby keeps telling me that patience is one of the fruits of the spirit but it seems that the tree that sprouts patience hasn’t germinated in my spirit. Though I have a calm disposition, I am a ticking time bomb. I am getting better by the day and still a work in progress. I can blow hot in a minute only to realise that if I had taken a deep breath or counted one to ten, my outburst would have been unnecessary.

I love myself as I am because, the same passion I put into getting angry is the same I use in loving. That is to say, I can give my eye to make you happy, only to realise a second later that I just rendered myself blind.