Google+ Followers

June 19, 2015

SPEECHLESS



There was a time when the thought of getting married and becoming pregnant was scary. I just couldn’t process the thought. I was young, naive and a husband and baby weren’t in the picture. I had the world to conquer. Strangely though, I got married in my mid-twenties and I still can’t fathom when the mind shift happened. I found love, got married but couldn’t bring myself to face the “after-marriage-comes-babies” sequence. I told Hubby I didn’t want to get pregnant and we agreed we won’t start trying for a baby until some months into the marriage. I felt I couldn’t take care of a child, I was scared. Don’t get me wrong, I love babies, I adore them and find those chubby cheeks irresistible. I just didn’t want to have them in my space 24-7...no breaks, no weekends. I wasn’t ready to be a parent.

I think I got pregnant after the first month of marriage because Aunty Flo didn’t visit when she was due, after 2 weeks, I was scared silly and asked a doctor friend to prescribe pills to make Aunty Flo visit. I took the pill and as sure as dawn, Aunty Flo came 24hrs...phew...it was a close shave.
About a year later, we started trying to conceive consciously. Like play, like play, it seemed Aunty Flo had given herself a monthly residence in our abode...the more we tried to keep her out, the more determined she was to continue her monthly visit. Then, the tests started, the prayers ,the ARTs, the medication and then more prayers laced with fasting. I lost my faith and found it several times during my TTC journey. I cried, I ached and I thought I would die but God kept me. I lost count of how many times I lashed out at God and my Hubby, there was no pretence with them, while I seemed calm to the outside world.

I found peace along the line, I knew it wasn’t me...it was a grace beyond my frailty. I remember once, a friend said, “Sykik, you don’t behave like someone who’s looking for a child”. Many women saw me and asked how I can be so calm and composed........I smiled and always said “when you want something so badly that you have done everything within your physical might and realise it’s beyond your power, you just can’t help but say I don’t give up, but I am sure going to live my life”. I used my blog as an outlet to pour out my heart wrenching emotions, my blog helped keep my sanity.

There was also the several, “Sykik, I know a doctor” or “Sykik, my pastor said”, or “Sykik, my church is having a programme”. I felt trapped with the unsolicited phone numbers, prayers and advice. Then there were times during church service when the pastor will ask women who are waiting for the fruit of the womb to step out........what about the men?  I was an “aluta” TTC mama...I didn’t want to be cloaked into the regular TTC woman. I wanted to pray without being compelled to pray, I wanted to talk to people without being drowned with advices about the best sex position to keep the sperm inside the vayjayjay...,.....kai, ........the list is endless.............



Luke 1
47And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior. 48"For He has had regard for the humble state of His bondslave; For behold, from this time on all generations will count me blessed. 49"For the Mighty One has done great things for me; And holy is His name.…
 

What is this post about sef......... it’s to announce that Sykik is now "mama bornboy". Baby’s birth was some months ago.

June 03, 2015

IT GETS MORE WEIRD

One Sunday night, I was craving fried yam like my life depended on it.......When Hubby no “gree” look my side, I started crying. I was a pitiable sight,  it was almost like if I didn't eat fried yam that night ehn, I won't survive. We started driving all over our area looking for fried yam, after several referrals we got someone who was frying at a bus stop. Immediately I perceived the smell of the fried yam, I started inhaling the smell like it was food, the food vendor took one look at me and shook her head and said “madam, sorry, it is well, this phase will pass”.

Another instance was during work hours, I was walking through my office car park and I saw a man eating jollof rice in his car, I stood beside the car and was watching how the rice was entering this man’s mouth, at a point the man turned and stared at me. I am sure he was wondering if I was a mad woman, I just curtsied, apologised and "waka-ed" away.

I told myself that I need to start having self control because “tush” Sykik cannot be falling hand like this oh......which kain pregnancy symptom be "ojukokoro" again.

Constipation garnished with carpel tunnel syndrome and a slice of "ojukokoro" is not sexy and tush at all.....pregnancy is not a easy something.

Ps: Please someone should help me interprete "ojukokoro" into English in the comment section.


May 09, 2015

IN THE BEGINNING - 2

Act 1, Scene 2

I had just finished a bowl of vegetable with white rice and feeling fly. Some minutes later, I felt as though I had eaten too much and the food was stuck in my throat. I started having breathing problems…..I started trying “orisirisi” because the discomfort was outta of this world. I couldn't sit or stand. For several days, I was groaning trying to force poo out, but it was doing me “odeshi”. I thought I was going to die and didn't appreciate my obituary reading “she died because she couldn't  poo”.

I prayed to God and swore myself off rice and vegetable, I swore myself off food sef……It was hell. If this was just one pregnancy symptom I dreaded what the others will be. Finally, day eight came and God answered my prayer and I was able to poo. I started singing praise and worship, glorifying “baba God” for the ability to poo. I never knew there was ever going to be a day that I will be singing and dancing because of poo. Oh what relieve I felt. At that moment, life was good.

I woke up some days later with a sharp pain in my right hand, down my wrist to my elbow……what happen again, wharris this? Did I sleep on my right hand ni? like play, like play…..2 weeks, this pain didn't go away, rather  I couldn't hold on to objects, I was breaking plates and cups , infact anything I held with my right hand ended up broken…..so I went to the hospital requesting for an X-Ray. I was told it was capel tunnel syndrome and a pregnancy symptom……..pregnancy symptom bawo……..Doctor?……..I began to wonder why I was having weird pregnancy symptoms?

To my highly esteemed “female toilet gist lovers” ……sorry oh, no office aproko gist until further notice……

April 16, 2015

IN THE BEGINNNING


Act 1, Scene 1

Sykik: hello, Dr. E, did you get the picture and mail I sent to you

Dr E: Sykik, congratulations, the double line means you are pregnant

Sykik: ok, thank you

It's been a roll coaster nine months , at first it was unbelief.....no scratch that, I couldn't comprehend the singular sentence "congratulations, you are pregnant" , it was an out of body experience because, every symptom I felt was telling me, Auntie Flo was about to pay her monthly visit and as usual was making a dramatic entrance. My understanding of morning sickness was nausea, vomiting , weird food cravings, etc

My reaction to the doctors’ news was unbelievably calm. I didn't scream, cry, jump or anything. I just said thank you doctor, dropped the phone and crawled back into bed........who does that?.......Sykik is definitely a weirdo........this was one news I have waited the past nine years to hear and all I could do was go back to sleep...... Wait a second, before I went back to sleep, I turned to Hubby and told him what the doctor said.

Fast forward to two weeks after, I was hit by the worst constipation ever known to man.