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May 09, 2015


Act 1, Scene 2

I had just finished a bowl of vegetable with white rice and feeling fly. Some minutes later, I felt as though I had eaten too much and the food was stuck in my throat. I started having breathing problems…..I started trying “orisirisi” because the discomfort was outta of this world. I couldn't sit or stand. For several days, I was groaning trying to force poo out, but it was doing me “odeshi”. I thought I was going to die and didn't appreciate my obituary reading “she died because she couldn't  poo”.

I prayed to God and swore myself off rice and vegetable, I swore myself off food sef……It was hell. If this was just one pregnancy symptom I dreaded what the others will be. Finally, day eight came and God answered my prayer and I was able to poo. I started singing praise and worship, glorifying “baba God” for the ability to poo. I never knew there was ever going to be a day that I will be singing and dancing because of poo. Oh what relieve I felt. At that moment, life was good.

I woke up some days later with a sharp pain in my right hand, down my wrist to my elbow……what happen again, wharris this? Did I sleep on my right hand ni? like play, like play…..2 weeks, this pain didn't go away, rather  I couldn't hold on to objects, I was breaking plates and cups , infact anything I held with my right hand ended up broken… I went to the hospital requesting for an X-Ray. I was told it was capel tunnel syndrome and a pregnancy symptom……..pregnancy symptom bawo……..Doctor?……..I began to wonder why I was having weird pregnancy symptoms?

To my highly esteemed “female toilet gist lovers” ……sorry oh, no office aproko gist until further notice……