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November 22, 2012

WARRIS THIS ?

I have a married male friend who’s a Nigerian born American – Papa DJ.  He’s married well over 30yrs with three children, to an American woman whom he professes his pure unabated love for at every opportunity he gets. Papa DJ’s wife is very accommodating and has hosted us during our numerous visits to their home in the States. Their love for each other is not in doubt and I have seen several public display of affection between them sef.
Sometimes last year, he asked me to help deliver some items to a female friend, -LFA in Lagos, whom he met during his visit to Nigeria in the year 2010. LFA is a forty year old divorced mother of three children. He also asked that I stay friends with LFA because she is in need of friends. I conceded to his request and dragged Hubby to visit her early this year and I call her from time to time till Papa DJ’s visit to Nigeria in March.  LFA stays in a two bed apartment somewhere on the Lagos mainland.
Papa DJ visited Nigeria in March this year with over 6 boxes of clothing, toys and gift items for LFA and her kids. A week after his arrival, he requested that Hubby drops him off at LFA’s place as he was going to spend some days with LFA. I became suspicious of their relationship and jokingly asked which room he was going to be staying in LFA’s place since there where only two rooms (one room for the kids and one room for LFA). His response confirmed my fears that LFA is Papa DJ’s girlfriend.  
As a proper Lagos babe, LFA milked him of every dollar he came to Nigeria with and he left promising to send LFA a SUV automobile. In fact, if you see him around this woman, he’s like a jelly; he behaves like a child in love. He has refused to heed caution and break off the illicit relationship with LFA.
He had reason to return to Nigeria last week for a burial ceremony of a relation who stayed with him in the USA until his death and this necessitated his wife to come with him to Nigeria (her first visit). Can you believe Papa DJ packed about two boxes for LFA and requested that I help drop it off . He told his wife that the items belonged to me….like what the f$ck and who does sh#t like this. (Pardon my French) *the devil is a liar, sister sykik shall not use swear word* I told him I didn’t find it funny, all this while, we were conversing in Yoruba because Papa DJ’s wife mustn’t know what is going on. I grudging collected the items from him and promised to send the items to LFA the next morning.  Sykik say the truth and let the devil be ashamed oh, ok...….he gave me one perfume *covers face in shame*
LFA attended the burial ceremony this past weekend and Papa DJ had cause to introduce LFA to his wife at the event. I was upset and wondered why she came to the burial.  
Papa DJ’s wife is like a mum to me. Adultery is a sin, my faith and beliefs detest it. I am pained that something like this is going on and I can’t do anything about it except pray.  

November 15, 2012

APROKO LEVELS

I work with one of the leading banks in Nigeria. Most of the ladies in my office (head office) are on another forming level, the “forming” no get part 2.
However, the bathroom (restroom) in the building is a funny place. It is a very large room and very clean and well kept. The cleaners eat there sef…me casin’t fit oh. …. In the mornings, it’s a competition of the “who can apply the best make-up”. It’s so bad that someone like me don’t dare go to the rest room before 11am, reasons because I don’t do make-up and I feel intimidated when I see all colours of the rainbow in display and also there’s no space for movement.

Now, in the afternoons, it’s another ball game entirely. This is the time when you can hear different telephone conversations

Scenario 1
Colleague on the phone (crying): Mummy, help me talk to him. He should please be careful so he doesn’t come home with sexual disease. He’s too randy, even the house help isn’t spared

Scenario 2
Female Colleague on the phone (trying so hard not to shout): Emeka, send money home, even if it is N20,000 so we can buy drinking water…what is it….yesterday I was at Shoprite (a shopping mall in Lekki, Lagos) to buy groceries and other household items, why are you like this…no money…yet you are flying business class…why can’t you fly economy….when was the last time you bought anything for the house.

The person on the other end says something….

Female Colleague on the phone: It’s a lie; I am tired of bearing the expenses….you could have taken a bus, why are you flying when there’s no money… You are the man in this house. Why am I the bread winner…….even if it is N10,000, Emeka bring money home, I say bring money home.

Abeg, this is where my “wee-wee” finish and I had to leave the restroom before my “amebo” get me into trouble.

Oh I almost forgot.

There was another lady who was praying and speaking in tongues in another toilet closet

Scenario 3
Female Colleague: Holy Ghost, Father, rakakakasisisitetetesisisi, yes, yes, the promotion is mine. I decree your word; this December will not pass me by in Jesus Name………

November 05, 2012

RELIGION


I noticed in the past few weeks that there have been a lot of buzz about religion- mostly on God, Nigerian Pastors and Christianity as practised in Nigeria.  Questions and comments bothered on reasons why Nigerian Pastors are wealthier than members of their congregation, why the schools established by the churches are way off the limit for the devout members of the church, why churches are building mega structures e.t.c.  I deduced that there is a gradual shift in the religious setting in Nigeria. People are now asking questions and hopefully will start to demand answers as well.
I was telling a friend yesterday that I believe “oyinbos” will make heaven too, even though they don’t shout when they are praying. I also believe that any tribe or nation will make heaven, even if they don’t scream “Holy Ghost Fire”, “fall down and die” or any other random “ish” before, during or after their prayers.
The divisor for everyone is “That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved (Romans 10:9)”

1.       Do you believe in the existence of a sovereign being?
2.       When / what was the incident that made you realise that there is a God somewhere?
3.       How do you know when you are crossing the line from Faith to Stupidity? Relate this to 1Corinthians 1:27 “But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;”

My greatest desire is to make heaven and win souls for God so my heavenly crown can have stars *yes oh, sister sykik reporting for evangelism*.    

NOVEMBER 2012 RCCG HOLY GHOST SERVICE PRAYER POINTS



Prayer Points raised by Pastor E.A Adeboye, General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God during the November Holy Ghost Service tagged “Great Expectations”
1.       Prayer of Praise
2.       Father, please don’t let my expectation be cut off
3.       Father, my expectation is to enjoy divine health, please fulfil it
4.       Father, my expectation is never to borrow again, please fulfil it
5.       Father, my expectation  is never to backslide, please fulfil it
6.       Father, my expectation is to become a divine treasurer, please fulfil it
7.       Father, my expectation is to be mightily used by you to heal the sick, raise the dead and to perform all manner of miracles, please fulfil it
8.       Father, my expectation it to win millions of souls for you, please fulfil it
9.       Father,  my expectation is to have blessings that will overflow to many nations, please fulfil it
10.   Father, my expectation is that my children be greater than I, please fulfil it
11.   Father, my expectation is that I will never bury any of my children, please fulfil it
12.   Father, my expectation is that my future will be more glorious than my present, please fulfil it
13.   Your personal prayer request