I knew I was
“dead”, I just kept asking God why he allowed me carry my two “tontinrin” legs
enter Kayode’s room that morning. I sighed and activated #school life mode, abi wetin I for
do. Kayode tried apologising but I told him it wasn’t his fault after all
nobody knew my mum was going to show up that morning……I was anxious for the drama to end, I knew my parents
were going to show up in my hostel the next day…..my mum doesn’t waste time
like that...
The next day…Dad
and Mum were back as expected. I didn’t know what my mum had told my Dad but I
knew the summary was “Sykik, slept in a man’s room”. I was ready to face the
jury …my Mum started talking and truth be told I just blanked out because I
couldn’t wait for the verdict to be delivered.
Finally, Dad asked Mum
to leave the room so he can talk to me one-on-one. Na so I just went on my
knees oh…..*Nkemji style* I started crying, *catarrh join tears
things*please don’t kill me…”I didn’t sleep in a man’s room oh”…… “I
don’t talk to any man except my classmates and we only talk about school”………..
I am sure I must have said I was using sign language to talk to any man after class
sef….my dad just sat there with this glint in his eyes. Then Dad goes, “Sykik,
calm down…tell me what happened”…so I told him the story…how I was going to
have my bath, my neighbour called out, I went into his room, we talked for some
few minutes and I was heading out of his room when Mum came..…he looked amused.
My Dad goes” Sykik,
don’t worry, I know your Mum and I know you”…you are my daughter and I know
what you can and can’t do, but, shebi you know your mum is a drama queen, so let
us indulge her…lets keep talking for about an hour then I will call her
in…otherwise she won’t let me rest with her fears …my People, na so Sykik and Papa
Sykik start to gist about school life ,my classmates, growing up, boys, etc…in
my mind, I was like “Dad, you are cool like this oh”…..he said he trusts me to
make the best decision at all times and that I am all grown up now and there
comes a time in life when my parents can’t be my shadow…..that I have been
tutored in the ways of the Lord to know right from wrong …my Dad went on and on……...and
truly that day I knew I wanted to make my parents proud and live up to their
expectation.
After about two hours,
Dad calls Mama Sykik back into the room and tells her that he has pulled my
ears well-well and that I should be grateful he didn’t kill me today and when
next I try that “rubbish” he will withdraw me from school and enrol me for
training at a hairdressing salon…..I almost chuckled when I heard hairdressing…….head
bowed, I just kept nodding my head. Mama Sykik was glad that I had been subdued
before they left, I made sure we drew up a visiting roaster …yes oh…to avoid
“stories that touch” ……did Mama Sykik keep to the roaster?….NO… ….did she ever
catch me in any uncompromising situations again?…..NO….Sykik wised–up ..….
I think I have writers
block…..see me forming like I am a writer. My blog has been my diary…I used to keep a diary
up until I got married and I wrote “codedly” because my mum doesn’t understand
privacy… knowing her, she will read the diary if she ever lays her hands on it and
God help me that day as I don enter “one chance” be that . As in, if she reads it,
there will be fire and brimstone just like it happened to Sodom and Gomorrah…..she
may even faint sef…… not because what I wrote is incriminating for a
young lady but because my mum is a drama queen…yes she is one….growing up, the
fear of my mum was enough to make me not indulge in any vice…. My mum’s sex
talk to me was something like this “talk to a man and you get pregnant”, “if
you get pregnant your dad will kill you”….then my dad will go “if I kill you,
there’s no policeman that will arrest me for killing my child”…my parents though
confirmed Christians where gangsters like that…..lmao…… I love my parents…..won’t
trade them in for anything.
During my undergrad
years, I resided off campus, it was a mixed hostel, my mum
made sure I shared a room with another female student( she was about 10 yrs
older than me). My mum had this weird belief that this lady would play a
sisterly role by watching over me for her. My next door neighbours were male
students in the next room and one of them was my course mate.
I woke up this fateful
morning and got ready to take my bath and head out to school. I had on a
towelling robe and stepped out of my room, my neighbour and course mate Kayode
called out to me, na so I carry myself enter the boy’s room and gist before going
to the bathroom. ……remember I was headed for the bathroom in the first place…after
the about 5 minutes gist, I stepped out of the room….. lo and behold the Spirit
of the Lord ministered tome to look in
front of me, I looked and who do I see..MAMA SYKIK…kai…see “gobe” I knew I had
entered “pepper”…my Mum being the drama queen started hyperventilating , she
lost her voice and could only muster a scream *hands
on her head*….then she goes “Sykik has killed
me”, “Sykik, you mean you slept in a man’s room”…I just kept staring at her
like “what the f*ck is this woman doing so early in my hostel”, “what time did
she leave Lagos to have reached this town so early”, …I just kept staring and
my mind kept replaying the scene the way Mama Sykik must have seen it…..
At this point,
other students came out and my room mate was like “mummy, its not like that oh”…”see
her bathing water here sef”…..she was going to take her bath”…bla bla bla….everyone
in the hostel was trying to chip in a word to confirm that Sykik was still virgin
Mary ..… before I could put my thoughts into words and open my mouth……Mama
Sykik don reach car park en-route Lagos to tell Papa Sykik…in those days there
was no GSM phones so she had to go back to Lagos and tell Papa Sykik what her
eyes saw.
PS: I will write
the concluding story very soon…….. my darling toinlicious, please carry your “akpoti” and mount tollgate here
for me biko……..we will share proceeds 50-50…..
PSS: love you all…..as
per paranoia, thanks for the hugs and words of encouragement. You all will
join and name Baby Sykik when it finally happens
PSS: how come I don’t
have a male reader…is it because I gist only woman gist?
Give the IVF money
to God as a faith seed versus hold God to ransom with “if–you-do-this”, “I-will-do-that“line
Forty looks so
close, walahi…...Dear God, today, this very minute, please, I don’t want to be part
of those women who give birth in their fifties…..don’t think I can wait that
long…….
Am I being paranoid
that my mother-in-law has a tiny bit of “but” about me?
I know I am not
making any effort to go beyond the mother-in-law/ daughter-in-law relationship
*bbm guilty face*
Sometimes I am
scared shi*t about my marriage, I almost want to tuck my tail in between my
legs and run
Nothing is wrong…absolutely
nothing…...the truth is things are so good at home I shouldn’t be feeling like
this
But, I still feel
like crawling into a hole and getting away from everything
