I think I have writers block…..see me forming like I am a writer. My blog has been my diary…I used to keep a diary up until I got married and I wrote “codedly” because my mum doesn’t understand privacy… knowing her, she will read the diary if she ever lays her hands on it and God help me that day as I don enter “one chance” be that . As in, if she reads it, there will be fire and brimstone just like it happened to Sodom and Gomorrah…..she may even faint sef…… not because what I wrote is incriminating for a young lady but because my mum is a drama queen…yes she is one….growing up, the fear of my mum was enough to make me not indulge in any vice…. My mum’s sex talk to me was something like this “talk to a man and you get pregnant”, “if you get pregnant your dad will kill you”….then my dad will go “if I kill you, there’s no policeman that will arrest me for killing my child”…my parents though confirmed Christians where gangsters like that…..lmao…… I love my parents…..won’t trade them in for anything.
During my undergrad years, I resided off campus, it was a mixed hostel, my mum made sure I shared a room with another female student( she was about 10 yrs older than me). My mum had this weird belief that this lady would play a sisterly role by watching over me for her. My next door neighbours were male students in the next room and one of them was my course mate.
I woke up this fateful morning and got ready to take my bath and head out to school. I had on a towelling robe and stepped out of my room, my neighbour and course mate Kayode called out to me, na so I carry myself enter the boy’s room and gist before going to the bathroom. ……remember I was headed for the bathroom in the first place…after the about 5 minutes gist, I stepped out of the room….. lo and behold the Spirit of the Lord ministered to me to look in front of me, I looked and who do I see..MAMA SYKIK…kai…see “gobe” I knew I had entered “pepper”…my Mum being the drama queen started hyperventilating , she lost her voice and could only muster a scream *hands on her head*….then she goes “Sykik has killed me”, “Sykik, you mean you slept in a man’s room”…I just kept staring at her like “what the f*ck is this woman doing so early in my hostel”, “what time did she leave Lagos to have reached this town so early”, …I just kept staring and my mind kept replaying the scene the way Mama Sykik must have seen it…..
At this point, other students came out and my room mate was like “mummy, its not like that oh”…”see her bathing water here sef”…..she was going to take her bath”…bla bla bla….everyone in the hostel was trying to chip in a word to confirm that Sykik was still virgin Mary ..… before I could put my thoughts into words and open my mouth……Mama Sykik don reach car park en-route Lagos to tell Papa Sykik…in those days there was no GSM phones so she had to go back to Lagos and tell Papa Sykik what her eyes saw.
PS: I will write the concluding story very soon…….. my darling toinlicious, please carry your “akpoti” and mount tollgate here for me biko……..we will share proceeds 50-50…..
PSS: love you all…..as per paranoia, thanks for the hugs and words of encouragement. You all will join and name Baby Sykik when it finally happens
PSS: how come I don’t have a male reader…is it because I gist only woman gist?