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July 17, 2013

BACK IN THE DAYS


I think I have writers block…..see me forming like I am a writer. My  blog has been my diary…I used to keep a diary up until I got married and I wrote “codedly” because my mum doesn’t understand privacy… knowing her, she will read the diary if she ever lays her hands on it and God help me that day as I don enter “one chance” be that . As in, if she reads it, there will be fire and brimstone just like it happened to Sodom and Gomorrah…..she may even faint sef…… not because what I wrote is  incriminating for a young lady but because my mum is a drama queen…yes she is one….growing up, the fear of my mum was enough to make me not indulge in any vice…. My mum’s sex talk to me was something like this “talk to a man and you get pregnant”, “if you get pregnant your dad will kill you”….then my dad will go “if I kill you, there’s no policeman that will arrest me for killing my child”…my parents though confirmed Christians where gangsters like that…..lmao…… I love my parents…..won’t trade them in for anything.
During my undergrad years, I resided off campus, it was a mixed hostel, my mum made sure I shared a room with another female student( she was about 10 yrs older than me). My mum had this weird belief that this lady would play a sisterly role by watching over me for her. My next door neighbours were male students in the next room and one of them was my course mate.
I woke up this fateful morning and got ready to take my bath and head out to school. I had on a towelling robe and stepped out of my room, my neighbour and course mate Kayode called out to me, na so I carry myself enter the boy’s room and gist before going to the bathroom. ……remember I was headed for the bathroom in the first place…after the about 5 minutes gist, I stepped out of the room….. lo and behold the Spirit of the Lord ministered to  me to look in front of me, I looked and who do I see..MAMA SYKIK…kai…see “gobe” I knew I had entered “pepper”…my Mum being the drama queen started hyperventilating , she lost her voice and could only muster a scream *hands on her head*….then she goes “Sykik has killed me”, “Sykik, you mean you slept in a man’s room”…I just kept staring at her like “what the f*ck is this woman doing so early in my hostel”, “what time did she leave Lagos to have reached this town so early”, …I just kept staring and my mind kept replaying the scene the way Mama Sykik must have seen it…..
At this point, other students came out and my room mate was like “mummy, its not like that oh”…”see her bathing water here sef”…..she was going to take her bath”…bla bla bla….everyone in the hostel was trying to chip in a word to confirm that Sykik was still virgin Mary ..… before I could put my thoughts into words and open my mouth……Mama Sykik don reach car park en-route Lagos to tell Papa Sykik…in those days there was no GSM phones so she had to go back to Lagos and tell Papa Sykik what her eyes saw.
PS: I will write the concluding story very soon…….. my darling toinlicious, please carry your “akpoti” and mount tollgate here for me biko……..we will share proceeds 50-50…..
PSS: love you all…..as per paranoia, thanks for the hugs and words of encouragement. You all will join and name Baby Sykik when it finally happens
PSS: how come I don’t have a male reader…is it because I gist only woman gist?

30 comments:

  1. hahahahaha omg you're lucky she didn't first land slaps on you.

    Please come and conclude the story!!

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    1. She was in a state of shock....if not trust Mama Sykik nau...I won't even know which direction the slap was coming from.....lol..

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  2. ahahahhaahaha #rolling on m lappy#

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  3. I could not stop laughing, you are a great writer in narrating this experience. I could almost feel the surprize from your mom and your fear.

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    1. yay....glad to know that I was able to relay the story so well..

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  4. Grabbing...ehm...what do people grab sef? Ok, grabbing pop corn + groundnut + garri...crossing my legs and waiting for the concluding part..lol

    Abeg come quick and finish this o.

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    1. Lol..don't forget to grab cushion chair*in my Ibadan accent*

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  5. LMAO!!! This is so funny!! Thank God she didn't land a hot slap on your face o. You mean she left for Lagos immediately? I can't wait to hear the concluding part of the story.

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    1. Thank God she was too shocked to slap me.

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  6. Rotfl. please I am waiting for the continuation. I have eliminated the possible ending where baba shoots u. lol.

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    1. Lmao....that I am alive is a testimony that Baba didn't kill me

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  7. Oh what a way to cut it off... This reminds me of a video I saw recently on "Don't e too quick to judge" can't wait to see the conclusion.

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    1. watch out for the concluding story. How are you doing?

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  8. Sykik abeg finish the story joo.

    Meanwhile I have something to discuss with you. Can I have an email address please?

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    1. send a mail to sykikblog@gmail dot com....i won't mind sending my account number too..lol

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  9. Lol could you please lets have part 2!!!!!

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    1. Definitely, the part 2 is coming soon....

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  10. Lol. I can't wait for part 2. All thru my six years in uni, I never laid eyes on my parents in that school. The only evidence my parents have that I ever went to school was when I presented them certificate 7 years later.

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    1. Irony of it all, my mum was more concerned about showing up unannounced, she never asked about my certificate sef..

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  11. Eiii! As in, this na true Gobe o! Oya come finish this story. See as i come late for this party sef.

    50/50 proceeds? Omo, i don hammer! Bhet you know i love you plenty plenty ba? Plenty much ni o! Not small love. Oya abeg, all of una biko pay ya money o.

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    1. Lol...lemme know when the money don complete so I can release part 2.

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  12. This is so crazy. Mummies can be so protective of their daughters sha. I am off to read the concluding part.

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  13. lol this is too funny! I am surprised she left without saying anything else. typical naija mumd rama queeness would have resulted in a slap.. lol and more embarrasment!

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    1. I am sure her brain couldn't comprehend the scene she saw..lol

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  14. LWKMD!!! chei! your mama na too much oo. your mama na real drama queen. me sef want some of the share of that proceeds o.

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    1. Share of proceeds ke.....me and Toin plan to build house with the money ni oh..

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  15. Reading back logs of your posts. Can't wait to move to part 2, lol. Your mum sounds so much like mine, only that mine wouldn't have gone back until I receive a thorough beating and shout down first. I am just picturing this scene in my mind, hehehehehehe.

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  16. hehehehehehheheh @hyperventilating lmao! Eeezz not a joking sturvz eh! lmao! Mumsi should have jejely sent letter to Dad instead of traveling the long way nah.. lmao! this is Epic.... #BecauseWeMissSykik

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