I cracked...........I cried.........I can’t
even begin to explain where the tears came from..........here I was one minute,
blowing hot, confessing and pulling down the strongholds of the devil and “puff”,
it was all gone, I felt naked, I felt lonely, I ached so bad, I wondered where God
was, what God demands is faith as tiny as a mustard
seed, my faith was much more than that, my mustard tree was growing into a big tree, I have been watering it these past years ....... but my physical body was yielding...............Aunty Flo was in
the building .......I wanted to give up..... I feel like a student who keeps
failing her exams, why do I keep having this monthly expectation, only to have
my hope dashed, when I can just stop hoping ......and save myself from re-living
this monthly ache.
Lo and behold,
My Spirit man: “Sykik,
God has declared that none shall be barren in the land, his word says children
are a heritage from the Lord and the fruit of the womb is a reward”.....
My Body: Yes
I know, but it is heart wrenching to want something so badly, yet you can’t
have it......I certainly do know that if it was within Papa Sykik and Hubby’s control,
tey-tey, they would have given it to me without a second thought.
My spirit Man: Sykik,
where’s the pity party coming from, shey you want to rent canopy and do crying
party ni?...... babe, clean your eyes and look the devil in the face, speak the
living word, remember you shut the door on him, do you want him to sneak in
again.
My Body: Ok oh, I “haff” hear I have wiped my eyes; I am sure tired of repeating this
class sha....
The storm is over. I refuse to give up on God
because he hasn’t given up on me.
Exodus 23:26 there shall nothing cast their
young, nor be barren, in thy land: the number of thy days I will fulfil.
Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a
heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.
PS: shout out to everone of you for always visiting
and reading my posts, ........I hope I haven’t bored you all crazy with my TTC tales...no
vex, biko, writing is therapeutic for me....I find solace in putting my
thoughts into words.
We are not tired oh... *HUGS*
ReplyDeleteReally don't have words and i hope the hug will do?
Thanks, hugging you right back Dearie
DeleteHugsssss! We love you Sykik.. And never tired!
ReplyDeleteGod bless your trust in Him in Jesus name xxxx
I love you toooooooo"........
Deleteit well... You will do just fine. Your testimony is due and we shall all be waiting to celebrate with you.
ReplyDeleteThanks ma'am
DeleteWe are not bored honey. Just keep holding on!
ReplyDeleteI am definitely not giving up.
DeleteIt's my first time here, but please keep writing. Don't keep it bottled up inside. And you're encouraging others going through the same thing. Keep it coming.
ReplyDeleteThank you. It would be nice to know there's someone out there who's encouraged from my tales
DeleteMy darling Sykik. Something occurred to me as I read this post. That Aunty Flo has chosen to visit is not proof of anything. My cousin had periods for 5 months before she even knew she was 5 months pregnant. The beautiful girl is 18 years old now. Besides that, if I were to go by the many illnesses and diagnosis I had when I was pregnant, my little girl would not exist now. At some point I was told there was no baby in my womb and I should come back in a few days for an evacuation. At another point I was told the pregnancy wouldn't survive beyond 5 months, and at last that the child would be deformed. None of which ever happened. I also experienced bleeding and threatening pains during my pregnancy but all na shakara.
ReplyDeleteWhat I am saying to you Sister, is those outward signs are nothing. They don't prevent God from doing what he wants to do; as a matter of fact they make the basis for a miracle. That your womb has a baby.
God bless you for these uplifting words.
DeleteFor He shall open up the windows of heaven and pour you out a blessing and there will not be room enough to receive it. God will rebuke the devourer for your sake and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time. Your miracle adorable babies shall be carried in your arms and it will end in PRAISE.
ReplyDeleteMomma, thank you for the verses. Amen to your prayers.
DeleteHaaa. I don't know what to say, but I know that even if waiting can be really hard, God never fails. Please, keep holding on to those promises.
ReplyDeleteI am holding on Dear. God truly never fails.
DeleteHe who has begun a good work in you Sister, will be faithful to complete it. It is at the point where it seems hardest, that your breakthrough comes around. Is it pikins.... you go carry tire in Jesus name. That miracle shall not elude you my sister.
ReplyDeleteAm really grinning hard reading this comment.
DeleteIs this who I think it is? Why you dey comment with anonymous nau?
Thanks for the prayers ma'am.
My sis i'm sure it's not who you think it is. I'm just a sis in the Lord encouraging another sis in the Lord (rccg tinz lol!). i'm in the "abroad" though (us) in case you are and ever need to talk, i can leave you my email address. You are blessed woman of God and trust me....you are staring at your miraclezzzzzzz........
DeleteAwwwww...thank you......
DeleteGod is not slack concerting his promise as some men count slackness, but is faithful. Keep living and enjoying life my Sister. I have read where many women find joy in adoption. Keep an open mind as you never know what God can and will do.
ReplyDeleteThank you ma.
DeleteSykik, I can so relate...Sunday morning, I was telling God "see ehn, I'm not angry, I'm not bitter, but I'm not going to pray concerning this again. I'd just let You do You" hahahaha, I made myself believe it was OK, until he reminded me that faith is active, not passive....Girlfriend, though it tarries, it shall surely come to pass...Hi5 cos we're on the winning team...:D
ReplyDeleteHi5 o jare, the devil has lost this battle. My confessions still stand strong. It surely will come to pass.
DeleteIt feels so nice to know there's someone who can relate to this.
Bear hugs
How can I be bored of reading from you? never! The devil has got nothing on you, end of discussion. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs
ReplyDeleteHugging you right back
DeleteBored ke? Maybe not many of us are TTC but i can assure you that everyone of is is wanting something, praying for something, expecting something so please, we can all relate to waiting for prayers to manifest. You can read this: http://www.erosinspirations.com/2013/09/the-september-gift.html by Rita of Ero Inspirations. Amen to all the prayers and like Joie said, God can do what he wants to do regardless what the physical body shows *tightest hug*
ReplyDeleteThanks for the link......hugging you right back, sweetie
Deleteeveryone of us*
ReplyDeleteI've been coming here for a while now but I've never left a comment...
ReplyDelete"Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the LORD. "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities." (Isaiah 54:1-3).. I pray that God will give you the desires of your heart. Please keep having faith.
Welcome my darling, thank you for sharing these verses.
DeleteI feel so loved with everyone lifting me up with prayers and reminding me of God's promises in his word.
I will rejoice with you very soon Sykik. We will all rejoice with you VERY soon as God lives. The issue will then be who to make the God-Mother of your children. I hereby use this medium to apply. Let me know if we are going to campaign and vote so that I can start working on my manifesto (that's what it's called abi?
ReplyDeleteMy darling, I am all smiles.......
DeleteCarried last...again...in Sykik's 'house' of all places...lol...
ReplyDeleteGot no words except to say you are loved (for real) and we'll keep lifting you up in prayers. Keep your head up Sis and keep believing even though it may get all overwhelming sometimes.
You are in my thoughts.
Don't worry, you didn't carry last...na "at all at all" bad pass...... Thank you for remembering me in prayers...
DeleteI have no verses and will not go on about my or anyone else's struggles, I am just a silent reader of your blog. And I was really touched by your post.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is just keep praying and trusting. Aunty Flo may not be what you want to see but she is a sign that all is working right on the inside. In His time my dear, in His time. As you wait, it is not "passive faith" to refocus. Do not let the waiting take away your smile.
Ma'am , thank you for dropping a comment....it is appreciated.....yea...in God's time....I am definitely not giving up.......
DeleteHugs..
*Hugs hugs dearest* just signing in. I've been busy with school and I'll be done with my program this week by His grace. There is pretty nothing much to say, which you probably haven't heard before. All I would say is this: challenging times do not nullify the reality of our heavenly Father's love. He will show up on time, please believe that. *Hugging you again.*
ReplyDeleteWelcome back, you were very much missed and if not that I knew you had school work, I would have been. all over your blog checking on you.
DeleteHugging you right back.
We will all rejoice with you soon just start saving for the thanksgiving after party because gbo gbo wa la ma yo ju.
ReplyDeleteJust like the bible says.. and like you are doing.. cat all your cares upon him... for he cares for you. rebuke every doubt and just keep fixing your gaze on him.. ignore distractions ignore fact that present themselves to you.. at the end of the day, whsoe report do you believe?
Waiting maybe hard but hold on to God's word, speak it out and overcome by words of your testimony by faith.
ReplyDeleteSatan isn't ready for this yet and when ur testimony blows in,all will be in awe of the God in you.
You'll testify ma'am. You'll testify!