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March 22, 2014

BFFS



I had a best friend once, which was way back in secondary school. We fell apart because she couldn’t keep a secret and we weren’t speaking for years. We made up in our final year in secondary school but it wasn’t the same again. That incident sealed up anything regarding BFFs for me.

I have learnt to categorize everyone into my “friend zone” nothing special about anyone....... be rest assured that any information I tell any living person isn’t something I will feel bad about if I get to hear about it from someone else....gone are the days of “don’t tell anyone else oh, it’s a secret”...mba....any secret is for my Hubby and God if I don’t tell him, it stays safe with me.

There are things I have shared on this blog that I might feel shy about, if my cover is blown but they are definitely not “secrets” like that. I prefer spilling my guts here knowing that my identity is hidden in a way. However, there is still a whole lot that is within me I wish I could share.......girlie stuff I wouldn’t mind sharing over a glass of “zobo” and suya... I would love going shopping with another lady who won’t mind the long hours ( did I ever mention Hubby dislikes shopping, he makes shopping feel like a visit to the arctic, he can’t understand why I can’t enter a store and be out in a second)

Thumbs up to those who have BFFs who have stayed true throughout the years......”it’s-not-a-easy-something” to have someone who watches your back, keeps your secret and is ready to fight your battles, a “tell- it-as-it-is–to-your-face” friend, “no holds barred” friend......I mean a real human friend and that is aside your spouse, sister or brother...... do BFFs still exist?

Is there a beginner’s guide to having BFFs?

25 comments:

  1. As far as I'm concerned, God is the only true friend who can keep and hold all. With Him I'm safe o cos I've learnt human beings are fickle. That is not to say BFFs do not exist sa, some are actually lucky to find their 'soulmates' (not talking about spouses).

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    1. My dear, God is the only true friend. I just wonder about people who have been able to find their "soulmates" and still going strong

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  2. Interesting post Sykik! Only God can provide a faithful and loyal BFF and He is also the only one that can make us fantastic BFF 's to others.

    www.spynaija.blogspot.com

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    1. I am just wondering if somewhere in this universe there can be that special someone aside a spouse that can be faithful and loyal...hmmmm...it is well

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  3. A wise man once told me that as you are making a new friend, also be preparing for the day the friendship would fall so you would be conscious of the things you say to them.

    Another wise woman once told me that , a secret is no longer a secret as long as you have told another person! It is a secret if only you and GOD knows.

    I was told there are 2 things that can broke up a relationship between two best friends: Money and Man..........with jealous as the underlying factor.

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    1. wise words, a secret is no longer a secret as long as you have told someone. na wa oh....

      Do men have BFFs, or is the jealousy just related to the women folk alone?

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  4. I think one of the best blessings after good family is having great friends - it's so important. Sure you get disappointments but it's worth the risk.. I have found praying about choices of friends and letting God hand-pick them the best way.. Even people I wouldn't have considered, have become friends like sisters..
    Also, being a good friend helps attract good people to yourself.. Almost like what you sow is what you reap.
    So I pray that God will lead great friends to you Sykik xx

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    1. It's nice to read that you have had a good experience so far....so there's hope then

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  5. Sisters work for me biko. I have some great friends though. Really great but i also know they're human

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    1. me wey no kon get sister nko?........lol......i guess we should never forget that friends are humans and can "fall hand"

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    2. Toin, why the unapproved leave of absence nah? Must have visited your blog (for gists) 1000 times..ok I just exaggerated yhere but biko come back quickly. Ok?

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    3. Sykik: I fit adopt you na. Small matter o. Just buy me that ferrari and you don be my sister be that

      Abiola: *covers face in shame* I have finally updated ma

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  6. I won't say I have BFFs, but I have about 3 people that I open up to, people who encourage me in my down time, who uphold me, and I don't farapamo for them. And I consider them God-sent, but you won't see us going shopping together, or gisting about petty things and all that. I am very conscious of the people I develop deep relationships with.

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    Replies
    1. so maybe BFFs are not meant for shopping or gisting but would you go shopping with a platonic friend....I would prefer to go shopping with someone who would tell me how I look when I am trying on dresses

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  7. I totally understand how you feel about bffs. I do believe they exist, very rare but they really do exist.
    I really believe in asking God to send sista-pillars your way, sisters who will encourage and uplift you not friends who want to compete with you or constantly feel the need to run you down when there is something at stake.
    A sista-pillar is more interested in your growth and well being and is always available to share in the pain or joy.
    I know its a risk to trust again but then again everything in life requires risks.
    Ask God to send the right people your way and also be the friend you would want to befriend in your ideal world.
    Hugs and Kisses

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    Replies
    1. Sista-pillars...now that's a new word...makes me think of prayers and bible reading. I guess BFFs too should be people of like mind and faith.

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  8. Nicely said but ma BFF's remain my God,son and journal.
    husby when it is very essential cos he also can fuckup too when anger sets in.
    BFF's has never worked for me.
    though i know bff exist cos i know a few that i envy,buh am ohk with my friends of diffrent period.

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  9. I only had BFF's when i was in secondary school cos it was the 'ish' then. Now i have very close friends, i am not just comfortable calling them BFF.

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  10. yes BFF's exist..it took me 5years to know I had one cuz like you, I was very sceptical about female friends..but they do exist, one with whom you can tell things you really cant gist with a guy and laugh no matter how close he is to you(for the single ones like me), its just different with a lady friend whose real..but like I read from someone, I love my BFF, she's a sister to me even, not just a friend, but I also know that she is human..nevertheless, I am blessed to have her

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  11. Hm! This used the be my area of specialty so they they used it to insult me but I've realized that I was bff-ing the wrong way. It was one-sided. I needed them more than they needed me and got my validation from them. I always thought I couldn't do without a bff so when one left, I looked for a replacement sharply. But I've learned. Now a friendship with me is earned. It's not something I dole out anymore. I like the term sister-pillar that Favored Woman used.

    I don't think it's safe to have ONE bff. That person can hold you to ransom at any time. Having a few real friends that you can talk to at any time is safer and better for your sanity.

    A few people are lucky though e.g. Oprah and Gayle but my advice will be that you have a few very good girl-friends henceforth referred to as sister pillars :)

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  12. This used the be my area of specialty so tey* they used

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  13. blessings.....
    hope your are well and life is treating you kind.
    This posts reminds me of one i wrote a couple of years ago called. "GET PERMISSION, DO NOT ASSUME." http://rappingonamelody.blogspot.ca/2012/01/get-permission-do-not-assume.html.

    We need to manage our expectations, if we need someone to talk to then we need to ask that person first if they are willing to listen and then if they are willing to keep your confidence. So often we feel that because we keep someone's confidence it means they will automatically keep ours. In addition we have at times unrealistic expectations of others based on how we think and what we do and has nothing to do with the person with whom we have these "expectations." There is an old saying, "if you don't want your business repeated keep it to yourself." I go one step further and say, find a therapist.

    peace.
    Rhapsody
    http://rappingonamelody.blogspot.ca/
    http://rappingonamelody.blogspot.ca/p/guestbook.html
    https://plus.google.com/101099217204323189067
    http://www.shelfari.com/rhapsodyphoenix
    http://twitter.com/rhapsodyphoenix
    http://pinterest.com/rhapsodyphoenix/
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    http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/4a442621/rhapsody-phoenix

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  14. Blessings and Happy Easter

    peace.
    Rhapsody
    http://rappingonamelody.blogspot.ca/
    http://rappingonamelody.blogspot.ca/p/guestbook.html
    https://plus.google.com/101099217204323189067
    http://www.shelfari.com/rhapsodyphoenix
    http://twitter.com/rhapsodyphoenix
    http://pinterest.com/rhapsodyphoenix/
    https://www.facebook.com/RhapsodyPhoenix
    http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/4a442621/rhapsody-phoenix

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  15. BFF's (best friends forever?). I dont know the forever part but I know best friends still exist. I got one and shez super amazing, shez practically a sister but then shez human and so things can change that's why I dont believe the forever part.

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