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September 08, 2014

MRS SOMEBODY



Young and without any care in the world, fresh out of school with a good paying job, cap that with a beautiful face and figure what more can a girl ask for? Hmmmmm.....she felt on top of the world.
Wow, she’s still a virgin at 36years and no boyfriend. She’s feeling old and grey; where did the years go......wait a second...where are the guys?

There’s a front desk officer in my office, her name is Sisi, and she got married less than a year ago. Her fairy tale wedding was the talk of the office and the so many “ohs” “ahs” no let person hear word for a while. It was rumoured she had landed a “big boy”, a-la- Abuja contractor.  In Nigerian parlance, a contractor is someone who doesn’t have a regular pay job and lobbies for government contracts. Depending on his connections, he might be getting the contracts in droves or trickles; he might also be a front for the “bigger boys”

Fast forward to some months after the “city people” wedding, the crack in the marriage is so wide that it has turned to office gossip. It is been peddled that Sisi paid for the wedding expenses, paid the house rent and also general upkeep of the house, the man rides her car (this car was bought by a sugar daddy according to the story tellers).   According to the association of office mongers (Sykik is not a member oh, though I somehow find myself in the gathering by default....hehehe.....I need to keep abreast of events around me and don’t worry, I cover my ears with the blood of Jesus before and after the tales) ,  the man hasn’t landed a contract in the God knows how long,  so his finances have dwindled and Sisi is tired of the charade and has asked him to pack out of her house, after all she paid the rent and he’s using her money to “carry babes” and flenjour all over town to keep up with his big boy status.... apparently the man has been chopping life at her expense.

The matter reached its peak when the man had to send emissaries to come and plead with Sisi in the office. Sisi no gree oh, she just downloaded all her expenses since she got married and asked them to give it to the man and also get him to repay her for feeding, his  monthly upkeep and accommodation for the last few months ( I was told the expenses included the car maintenance and fuel).......

Now, back to Miss-tall-and-graceful, yes, you are 36years old and still single, last time I checked marriage doesn’t give an automatic gate pass to heaven. The bible doesn’t list being single as a sin......... yeah, it definitely feels lonely and cold (at times), but the good news is, it doesn’t feel that way all the time. Enjoy the free time now while you can, you think you have spent too much free time already, let me tell you something, a lifetime of being married is truly a lifetime...it’s more than being called MRS, drop the desperation because the loneliness you are experiencing now is not because you are unmarried, it’s because you decided to host a pity-party everyday 247..yea....I would rather you make the right choice than make a desperate choice.

I am not qualified to give advice because I got married early so I probably don’t know how you feel but trust me, I know how it feels to want something so badly that every cell in your body aches and quakes, I know what it feels like to want to yell at God and say “Are you sure, you are God, do you thrive in my pain”.......however, I also know that there are days when you read stories like Sisi’s story and  you say “Dear God, did I call you names last week, I am so sorry, it was  that time of the month”...lol....yes oh, God knows about PMS, he knows about mood swings and he sure has a sense of humour too.

Don’t know if this post makes sense but, this is just another finger-is-itching-me-to-type ish!!!

25 comments:

  1. It makes a whole lot of sense.

    It's not really easy being single...one of my sisters got married laaaate and I remember vividly the teary days and nights, frustration, etc.

    So many wrong decisions are made out of frustration and some eventually end up craving the 'single days'.

    Our society has been largely unhelpful also as people start counting days immediately you are out of Uni. This places enormous strain on our single ladies and often lead to rash decisions being taken just to join the 'married club' not realising that a certain percentage of the married ones are actually languishing in their self-fashioned prisons.

    Wisdom is all we need.

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    1. societal pressure is one of the reasons why Naija women end up with the wrong spouse...strange but I never thought of it whether the men also face such pressures

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    2. Mehhnn a Thousand likes for your comment Abiola Olaleye, I mean it is sooo on point. Permit me to add that I have this very interseting believe, so here goes:

      If one is unhappy being single, no matter the MIRACLE, you will be unhapppy in a relationship.

      Happiness is a state of mind, and it is not inspired by just an event. @Sykik, see why i like it here, you always know how to strike a balance, hence i soooo want to be like you when i grow up Bubba. Everyone has needs, everyone has wants and desires.... but i read here this morning oneplustheone.blogspot.com that thanking GOD in advance, and being grateful regardless, is the best way to appreciate life, and receive more. Plus My Blog Mother janylbenylshares.com always says, gratitude opens doors of opportunities... Aswear Sykik You rock.. Yo can write for Africa ehnnn...:)

      P.S: Sorry for the Blog adverts, i am addicted to those blogs, and more.. Cheers.

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    3. @Duru, thanks for the compliment and your blog mama must be proud of how matured you sound. Blogville is very addictive, I can tell you.

      Bear hugs

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  2. I wish alot of people would reach this. The marriage stories i don hear in the past few weeks ehn, infact I've resolved not to hear anymore. It's just sad that some singles would ignore all these and call them "tales" instead of realizing that one has to wise up well and calm down before saying I Do....oh well what do i know, "afterall i'm married and don't know what it feels like" - said a friend to me recently.

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    1. My darling, that saying of "you don't know what it feels like" has hindered many good advice.

      A place of "seeking" shouldn't turn to a place of desperation. Waiting is not for the faint hearted

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  3. Hmmmmm wisdom speaks. We hear you Sis Sykik.

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  4. I've been seeing alot of marriage gone wrong stories too... Wisdom is key. The society we are in too is not helping. Well, I won't know because I am still relatively young and no one is asking questions. The truth is that, there will be signs (in most cases) before the wedding, I just pray that we learn patience and learn to trust God through the waiting period because ALL HE does HE does in perfection.

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    1. He sure makes all things beautiful in His time

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  5. I am here because a friend direct me here. I won't want to use the scripture to back my words but I have to. Lack of information, wisdom is very vital. So many people think singleness is a disease, whereas it's just a state. It's not just about be a MRS but being HAPPY. I'm a guy though but I understand what ladies go through about this issue. (1 Cor 7:8 AMP)

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    1. Welcome dear, wisdom is profitable to direct

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  6. It makes sense gannn...

    You're right Sykik.. Sometimes when you read stories like Sisis', you'd rather wait (gladly) than take anything that comes just to have that prefix 'Mrs'..
    Thanks for this reminder again - Like we learnt in church last Sunday, God makes all things beautiful in HIS OWN time :-)
    All we pray for is grace to wait patiently (and joyfully) xx

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    1. I love your last line, grace to wait patiently and joyfully

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  7. ahahaha @ your are not a member ...... just by default #I hear#

    Big boy tinz, I don't blame the babe o jare.

    Frankly speaking though, it's a human nature to want something they don't have yet, especially when the society expects it. But that does not mean we should put our lives on hold, or wallow in self-pity, rather we should go ahead to achieve our other 'wants'.

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    1. true talk, we crave the things we don't have the most.

      How's the family ma'am

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  8. Preach it sister! You're making sense jare. I don't even understand people taking panadol for my headache? Shebi it's my "singility"? En, allow me enjoy na.

    On God having a sense of humour, +1000! God is awesome i tell you

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    1. Toinnnn oooo...'singility' kwa? I don add new word to my vocab today o thanks to Toin...lol

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    2. na only Toin can form word.. i love you babes....hahaha....let me start telling peeps to enjoy their singility

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  9. Sykik, so you have been blogging! I have not seen blog updates from you in almost 2 months. I thought you disappeared. If not that you dropped a comment on my blog about this post, I'd have never known o.

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    1. ha, I have been blogging oh though sparsely. maybe something is wrong with the link. helep me re-add my blog o jare.

      bear hugs

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  10. LOL...As I was reading I kept asking myself, "why Sisi" ehn? Why??????????????????????? LOL. I understand the post too and I believe being single is not a curse o...it can be one of the best times of your life! So enjoy it .

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    1. lol, Sisi yemmie in the building. welcome

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  11. The post made a lot of sense. A lot of women close their eyes to the obvious troubling signs just to join the "Mrs" club (whatever that is). Mrs no be visa stamp oh my people. Our society pushes women to jump at any tom, dick or harry with a ring but no one will be there to dry her tears when her Tom turns out to be a tombolo.
    cheers dear.
    favoredwoman

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  12. True.thanks for this Sykik.
    The desire for marriage shouldn't be more than the desire to marry right.
    And oh sis's story, just goes to show that the grass isn't always greener on the other side, be grateful for where you are and thank God even when all isn't well.yes, He is still God even in those times.

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