ABEG, ABEG, I AM FACING MY WORK

Valentine celebration was different.…., I am not yet old and grey, teeth never comot for my mouth and I didn’t get any “shokolate”, this must be the work of my enemies. Please someone should write Hubby a memo that Sykik, a-la Mama Bomboy is still waiting for “shokolate” oh, and he shouldn’t worry, shokolate doesn’t enter breast milk.

By the way, when did Naija babes start accepting roses as gift? I don’t mean plastic rose oh, that one is for secondary school love. I mean all those roses that Naija weather doesn’t allow remain fresh and to scent well-well ……. I hope babes are not on a “forming levels”.

I was “face booking” ^{*looking for gist*} on my timeline when one love poem caught my attention……my heart froze….it’s a lie……what am I reading…..Jesus wept……my friend is writing love poem to her husband.

Habatically, come and see America wonder oh….this is the same husband that pounded her like yam with punches because she went and disgraced him at owambe where he went with his mistress…….the “two both” of them even wore uniform to the party sef…..this my friend chop beating that day no be small…….Is it that she has forgotten so soon……..did the beating reset her brain to factory settings ni? …. see wetin valentine is causing…these are the “I-must-to-celebrate-valentyme” …… who is she fooling? ........…… anyways, make I drop comment before I am tagged bad belle. 

We women can like to pretend ehn, is too much, kilode…..some people will be envying this couple now not knowing all this facebook love is a charade.

How was your Valentine celebration, my fellow "celebrators" (kai, Sykik has started blowing grammar), did Le Bae or Boo do the needful?

#UPANDON

Excuse my manners, happy New Year from Sykik, Hubby and Bomboy. Make una no vex, I have been going “upandon” during the holidays, that’s why I couldn’t blog.

God has started a new work in your life and he will definitely complete it.

Uhn………., I see the spirit of God taking over, Sister Sykik in the building…………..

My prayer for you this year 2016, is that God will take you to heights beyond human imagination, give you peace on all sides, bless the fruits of your hands and your body, cause you to burst out in songs of joy…….

I decree over your life that this year, the works of your hand will take you far and wide, you will fulfil destiny, and God will cause the heavens to open upon you. Lack will be far from your home and your resources will not run dry in Jesus name. Every day of this year will be testimony filled in Jesus name. Amen.

Oya, let someone shout Hallelujah.

Its mind bugging that in this cold winter of “–double digits degrees” some boys are still sagging. Like seriously, who are you sagging for? In this ice block, a-la snow, who has time to be looking at “Tommy Hilfiger boxers”?

Anyways, let me face my work and leave another woman’s son alone #UCHEFACEYOURWORK.

Bomboy is now a “bigz boy” oh. We will soon be doing 1 year baiday. God is faithful.

Special shout out to Duru Adolphus Jnr, he has been keeping tabs on me like kilode. No wonder he keeps falling in and out of love. He’s definitely a passionate “somebody”,

Hollop! Hollop!, I want to give a shoutout to my personal person, my one and only e-sister. You know who you are!!! God bless you real good. We connect on all levels.

This 2016, I will give you plenty gist for sure.

Abeg, is “aproko” a sin?

SYKIK FACE YOUR WORK OH

My Neighbor and his wife

My neighbour's maid acts like the boss madam in the house. She has a free hand in the running of the house as the main “oga madam” is never around. The real “oga madam” stays in #obodo oyinbo. While I was on maternity leave, I noticed that this maid opens the maid’s room door to someone late in the night.

Now, to the crux of the matter, my neighbour and his wife had a very bad argument. It was so bad that “oga madam” drove her car out of the house in anger and ran into a stationery vehicle on the street. According to Hubby, “Thank God no one was in the car if not she would have killed someone that day”.

Now to the crux of the matter, "oga madam" believes there’s something between the maid and Oga because she saw some telltale signs.

As a good neighbor I haff faced my work?  ......... #Uchefaceyourworkoh (who remembers the Etisalat audio clip that made headline in 2014). 

OFFICE APROKO

A pregnant lady in my office lost her pregnancy during the second trimester and I feel so bad about the incidence, but how do you console someone like that. Some persons were telling her it’s better to lose the pregnancy than a grown child but truly is the pain any less............ According to her, she had to go through labour and it wasn’t a funny experience at all. I offered my sympathies and told her my favourite bible quote is Eccl 3: 11 “He has made everything beautiful in its time”...... This verse has been my life line when all seems lost, when I feel all hope is lost and I am spiritually weary. She’s surviving and I feel very soon she will be pregnant again, that’s if she’s not already. Una know say some women body be magnet...they don’t waste time, before Hubby touches them, they haff catch belle, it is well. Even my mind is telling me that my sister-in-law will soon "catch" another belle....because, most people I know seem to go back for repeat course almost immediately after their first babies.

Another lady in my office just had twin boys, her pregnant tummy was extra large so I am not surprised, what left my mouth hanging open is that she’s already a mother to five children. This makes it seven children ........I doff my small “ikebe” for her. It takes a whole lot of courage and strength to born 1, not to talk of 7. There are people who love children and won’t mind having lots and lots of them but even me that haff not born yet can’t comprehend how she has been managing to stay sane and how she intends to stay sane with 7 children. She doesn’t look like someone with 2 children sef; she’s got a very trim body.

Someone shared a story of how his brother’s wife got pregnant after 5 children and then ended up with triplets meaning he has 8 children now; he said his brother went missing for three days upon hearing the good news. They had to report case of missing person to the police oh, when he came back on the third day he said he had to go into recluse and re-strategize because he couldn’t fathom where the triplets came from.......I thought people did scan and other tests to confirm these things.....so, lemme start warning Hubby not to think of running away in case God decides to “open the floodgates of heaven and pour out on us so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it”.....after all it will be worth the years of waiting.

The harmattan haff disappeared oh; it’s so hot in Lagos that I have forgotten that some weeks ago, we were complaining of dust and cold. People too plenty for Lagos sef, the traffic, horn hooting, swearing and cursing, car brushing and rowdiness is back on the road on a #doro-mega-superstar level..........

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The year 2015 has started and it has been mixed reactions for me, a part of me is excited about what is in store for me and then there is that part where I question if I should be so enthusiastic with all the bombings, deaths, the missing #Chibok Girls and other ills plaguing Nigeria. It is well, I wonder if God will not one day out of stress wipe out Nigeria just as he did Sodom and Gomorrah.....can any nation have so much issues and still remain so clueless to finding a solution to one of the issues. It’s almost as though we thrive in chaos and abnormalities ....... kilode, na so suffer head sweet us.

Mama Sykik, has fashied my side oh, she has eyes only for her new grandson, I am not jealous sha.... my time will come and it’s so soon. Daddy Sykik is now a bachelor as Mama Sykik has relocated to my brother’s place to help with the baby. It’s not a funny something; Papa Sykik has gba-kamu- sha.

Abeg, how do people get married within months and start worrying about conception immediately, don’t they know that there’s an unwritten rule that you should “enjoyment” the marriage for some weeks or months before babies start arriving. Don’t mind me, jare; I know that in Nigeria people start counting down nine months from the wedding night. Infact, I am sure some “poke-nosers” won’t mind peeping through the window to ensure that the action is taken place and in proper position on the wedding night.

When I grow up, I want to be like @ilola oh, she has been travelling all over the world showcasing her talent and I am mightily proud of her achievements. I have been using her to pose in my office, like say I be her manager or blood sister. This brings me to the question, Sykik, what is your talent? When will all this your talk-talk take you to Brazil? Hehehehe, I need to start learning big-big English and forming cliques in this blog-ville so that you all will keep coming back to read my “meaningful” posts.

In one of my previous posts, I mentioned that ladies in my office are on the “keep fit, stay trim” diet. The other day, I saw a babe who had one of those “nyansh” of life” in the building, as in, this “nyansh” (notice, I didn’t say “ikebe”) is an all time harasser, that thing moves to cause commotion. Can you imagine my shock when I saw her looking all trim and the “nyansh” was almost non- existent? I shock, I freeze, I open mouth and almost fainted......I couldn’t help but ask, Babe, where your “nyansh” go? Why didn’t you tell me to come get some when you were getting it reduced? It’s not fair oh...since thy kingdom come, I have been shouting and crying for small “ikebe”, only for someone with “nyansh” to lose all that “nyansh” and not give me some.  God, why nau?  

DRY GIST

Back to my last week post, let me gist you what I heard jare, I can’t keep it to myself because it won’t be nice to be hoarding gist.......it’s not a good something to be a gist miser. I was jejely minding my business in the rest room, trying to do number 2 when I heard ladies as usual discussing about how one very big “oga at the top” in the office is the one oiling one devoted Muslim sister’s engine. This sister is like an Alhaja oh, she covers head, covers body, and her clothes ehn....the skirt touches ground, the blouses covers her fingers. She doesn’t allow anything to show at all, at all......in fact the guys complain that she has ensured that no one, whether man or woman can lust after her. She is often used as example of how a religious person should be, she doesn’t miss her prayers, always with her praying rosary and very polite. I am sure some Christian sisters are envying her comportment sef.

As I hear her name for rest room, I thought I was hallucinating; it must be a lie, Alhaja gist for restroom ke, that must be bad belle people at work........... I quickly comported myself to finish hearing the story on your behalf ^*grinning*

Female 1: Do you know who I saw yesterday at ******* hotel

Female 2: who?

Female 1: Alhaja and she was with our “Oga at the top”

Female 2: she was with, abi she went for a meeting with....?

Female 1: which went for a meeting....the way I take see them, it wasn’t a meeting oh

Female1: this confirms the suspicion I had 2 weeks ago that Oga is the one greasing Alhaja......to imagine that this babe has been forming holy, holy pass Jesus Christ. Did you notice how she responded to Oga’s question on her monthly performance during MPR meeting? She told him he was embarrassing her, hissed and then walked out of the meeting while muttering under her breath that she was sure he doesn’t want his wife knowing what and where he goes after office hours. The meeting hall went quiet as though everyone was in a trance, Oga just continued with the meeting as though nothing happened and I almost doubted what I heard. I decided to put my detective cap to use and.......... voila, na so I jam dem for that hotel oh

Female 2: abeg, I am always weary of any babe that carries Jesus or Allah on top head like gala seller oh, na them do coded runs pass...wait oh, hope them no see you? Abi you wan take your appraisial do kite?

My peeps, na this point, my phone ring oh....gosh, I didn’t realise I had been holding my breath and poo all this while just to finish hearing hot gist ....I wish I heard the concluding part of the story sha

Will you believe I heard two ladies conversing in French excitedly while in the rest room, I would give up my lunch to understand what they were gossiping about......by the way, when did my company start recruiting French speaking nationals.... I know they were gossiping abi what else will 2 females be doing in the rest room aside number 1 and 2. All weapons fashioned against me not to hear toilet gist ehn, I bind and cast into the fiery furnace. 

It be like say this gist is dry sef....as the story no complete